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Travel back to 2017-07, 2018-04, 2018-09, 2018-11, 2017-06, 2018-02, 2018-03, 2017-12, 2018-10, 2018-08, 2018-01, 2017-04

How Not To Run A Museum
leashed un 2018-11-03 07:12:45

TRIGGER WARNING: Vital escense is not absorbed by the kidneys!

Hokay, so: there's the sun, which is active matter of one sort.

There are planets, or overgrown, well-behaved comets, or aggregated, annealed, aquatic asteroids, or whatever you call the rocks. You can kick them quite hard, cut your teeth on them, eat them, smash them at eachother to make more or less of them, but as far as I can tell, they're the kind of stuff the turtles swim above.

On the better-civilized parts of some rocks, are a bunch of... museums. I use that word in the Wolfeian sense, and expect audience familiarity with everything I can recall during the acts of creation, editing, auditing, and reliving, so a "museum" is not quite what you'd expect. Perhaps you know me better than I do myself, and you could define the concept more accurately than my feeble effort, so I'll let you do that yourself as an audience exercise.

One of my earliest memories involves a dispute about who'd visit which parts of a museum, under what conditions (note the omission of unpriced admission). When museums grow large enough, these disputes can heat so vigorously as to cut costs on central heating, and soon enough the tearily nostalgic demand for a thermostat gives way to the much more interesting challenge of climate maintenance. Control, as you may be aware, is naught but the name of a button or two on various antiques littering this museum; maintenance, whether by hand, foot, or nail, is a fucking career.

The incorrect way to express displeasure about museum administration is by amateurly executing the chief executive amateur.

RIP Yitzhak Rabin (b: 1 March 1922; d: 4 November 1995; c: trauma, kidney failure, life)

Lessons From A Grand Parent
leashed un 2018-09-29 06:26:07

TRIPLET WARNING: The following content consists entirely of a single three-item ordered list. If you are contextually biased to skepticism towards three-item lists, please await the publication of the five-, seven-, and eleven-item Deluxe Editions before inquiring at your local wholesaler.

1. In The Beginning...

One of the earliest memories of my maternal grandmother involves advice
to her youngest grandson, at the time, who has having difficulty
concealing the fact that he didn't much enjoy not wearing diapers
anymore. If I recall correctly, although memories from such a past life
are notoriously unreliable, I had just been scolded for sulking about
for hours, accumulating unspeakable stockpiles of kidney stone
nucleation loci, not to mention stool samples that could give IKEA a run
for their fiat any season of the year.

"Just let it out, kid! Learn from your elders."

Well, she was a little more polite than that, but please indulge me and
use your God-given imagination like it was meant to me used. Curious
little cunt that I was at that age, I must've asked her what harm could
possibly come to me from putting off work that would eventually do
itself; and I rightfully expected her to have a good answer to this,
seeing as she was living off a pension from the service half of the
medical industry's frontest of offices.

"If you let that all bottle up inside you, circulatory kinematics will
hinder the flow of nutrients to your heart... and if that's a number two
you're holding in, you might be able to keep those cooking for days on
end, but sooner or later your stomach will hurt like shit."

3. ... and at the end.

One of my last memories of her places her in the geriatrium where she
spent some of the last weeks of her life. I'm quite sure she remembered
my visits and me, not to mention the familial parade that kept me
sitting around long past when she seemed to have forgotten them moments
later. She'd had physiological difficulties aplenty for decades and
survived them better than the best, but at this one moment she gave a
particular impression of not doing so for much longer (at least, not
unassisted). I could've sworn I heard my brother whisper to our father,
"I think she's dying", but he swore later that he thought she just
wanted to go to sleep already.

I'm not quite so politically motivated an editorializing recontextualist
as to suggest that my grandmother (who lived out her post-holocaust
adult life as the positive counterpart to Kesey's Ratched) taught me
that life is only sacred so long as it kicks to keep kicking, but at the
very least I learned to appreciate sensory precision.

2. Oh and that one time?

... when she interrupted my procrastination of yet another kind of work
that doth itself do. I must've been in those formative years better
known as the "almost preteen", and had school that morning (it was
tomorrow by then, although nobody had yet told the Sun). My main fear
was that she'd scold me for dicking about instead of sleeping, and my
excuses had indeed all been used up the day before when she'd seen me
finish my homework quite early.

In case your mind teetered on the brink of some proverbial gutter: at
that age, my idea of dicking about at that hour consisted of wondering
just why it was that the Microsoft stack deigned it so unnecessary to
respect login sessions when the computer was more or less prevented from
talking to its peers. This fledgling detective work was hampered by the
innumerable moralizations (many of them self-contradictory when followed
far enough) stemming from what I'd seen on the cover of a magazine
intended more for moms than dads:

            "SHOULD YOU SPY ON  YOUR    KIDS?"

Forgive me for posting this riddle's answer in such close proximity, but
in case you needed any help: not unless you enjoy heart attacks and
sleep paralysis so much that you'd like to have a new hell tailor-made
where you can experience both at once!

If your imagination isn't yet working at this point, insert Tab A into
slot B and press Back to continue.

My fears were unfounded: she was thrilled to see that her grandson was
not only playing around, but playing with office machinery that could
simulate quantum annealing of racial genetics faster than the ethics
ministry could convince me that a holocaust joke isn't quite
appropriate, not to mention wholly anachronistic because Hitler's Venus
Project would've needed at least five of those to takeoff real
quick. Her fears were probably more along the lines of me redecorating
the apartment with the use of excrement and matches, and evidently she
got the impression that I'd just found the old sliderule and was trying
to puzzle out what the less obvious scales computed... little did she
know that I'd found the abacus instead, and was taking baby steps
towards applied plumbing.

Whoops! I should've warned you about nonlinearities, although if you've ever seen a sliderule, you probably saw this one coming: I preemptively forfeit my chance to bid upon the chalice of history in deferrence of the claim made by that greatest of liars (save only Baudolino): the historian formally attributed as `Harq al-Ada'.

"oh. you have a blog"
leashed un 2018-09-28 14:56:52
14:41:11    adlai | it could be quite stable, at the right pressure
14:41:16    adlai | you need to go back to thermodynamics class!
14:41:51    adlai | start with equilibrium thermodynamics. once you're good
                    on that, fluctuations; then bounce your way up from there.
14:42:01 fogobogo | the right pressure being the mass of jupiter?
14:43:04 fogobogo | entropy. sucks all the fun out of it
14:43:36    adlai | if you like my stories, may i recommend a short one?
14:44:08 fogobogo | sure
14:44:15    adlai | http://adlai.uncommon-lisp.org:7421/tag/changa.html
14:44:28 fogobogo | oh. you have blog
14:44:37    adlai | 8k words, that's what... 8 hours reading, once you
                    dereference all the pointers? :)
14:45:06 fogobogo | Reflexive Interferometry in prose
14:45:34    adlai | ahh 8k is the bytecount, it's only 1.3k words

Perhaps it's time to state, for lack of having previously done so, what exactly this means:

  1. Nothing here is [yet, to my knowledge] notarized. That means I edit with extreme prejudice.
  2. I don't [yet, to my knowledge] exercise unambiguous control over anything worth controlling unambiguously: not your computer, not the one serving this content, and barely even the one(s) from which I cook it. Misinterpretations and disintermediations are the responsibility of those unfortunate enough to have responsibility thrust upon them, as I believe Churchill isn't around anymore to deny having said.
  3. If I wanted this to become a halfassed predecessor of the sort of arguments witnessed in the darkest recesses of Facebook, Reddit, and their ilk, I'd have included some infrastructure for leaving comments at the bottom of these posts. Since I haven't, I probably don't! I may someday add a 'guestbook', purely out of nostalgia, but only hold your breath if you're really good at that kind of sport.
  4. As for why I spend so much timeffort making haphazardly selected parts of my neverending [yet, to my knowledge] argument with myself browsable by the random passerby: "beyond the obvious financial motivation, it's exceedingly simple... because I can."

For the record, fogobogo, all that entropy is rather what made it any fun to begin with!

Six Jokes Define A Cynic[al engineer]
leashed un 2018-09-21 00:00:00
  1. The Oldest Joke In The World

    PONGO: I'm having trouble meeting my creditors!
    BINGO: I say, dash it! To be precise,.: who wouldn't?
  2. The Blessed Joke In The World

    Historical note: the following joke has been heavily revised from the original version, which contained a punchline so wholly unamusing that it has repelled the Island of Stability even further away from me.

    Two blonde med students walk out of the biochem final.
    
    One says, "That damn final question!  What was he
    thinking, asking us to name the single most important
    element for the continuation of life as we know it,
    and justify our choice? Such a dumb question only
    Philosophers of Semiotics could get wrong."
    
    The other replies, "I know, right? It's obviously
    Phosphorous." The first stops, and finally speaks,
    quavering in fear: "What are you talking about?
    It's clearly that one metal, I keep forgetting
    its name.  Do you remember what's the ligand
    of methylcobolamine?"
    
    Ignoring her question, the dumb one blurts out:
    "Vitamins are important, sure, but wouldn't you
    agree that no energy transfers can occur without
    the near-equilibrium thermodynamics of driven
    fluctuations in those octokisdekaphosphomers?"
  3. The Most Expensive Joke To Not Get

    SATOSHI: Ya like DAGs?
    GAUTAMA: Ja sed also sprache posztifly towards Cat.
  4. The Most Obscure Joke In The World

    Q: What can you say about the special unitary samana squaredance?
    A: Don't get it sandy! (might be all we have to eat...)
  5. The Politest Joke I'll Ever Type

    ... with apologies to nobody in particular!
Stay Where, Pop?
leashed un 2018-04-15 20:22:07

Content Warning: This post contains a renovated memory. It is an attempt to recollect things said and done during the day which I consider yesterday.

Two main arteries skirt the coast between the clavicle and lower jawbone of the self-styled "Jewish Democracy", aptly numbered two and four (since without them, they can't even, you know, get anywhere). Unlike oxygen-rich blood, licentially-poor cripples can cycle pretty much anywhere they like, blazing capillaries across any barriers surmountable (within the limits of reason, physics, and decorum). Somewhere midway between where the first route (that's Road Two to you) lefts South and the city puns itself divinely away from its founder's pronomen, lies Seas City, a rather hivelike glass-and-cement factory for storage, feeding, and production of humans. Parks and fountains line the southwestern edges, one of the latter bearing a bold sign strictly prohibiting any entrance to the water (which runs less than finger-deep and more than crystal-clear).

I had to break that recommendation twice: once, to pick up the garbage that the idiot cubs left behind (and other idiot cubs also left behind, when I suggested that they, having already broken the recommendation, pick up the other cubs' crap); and secondly, to fish out my dumb-smart phone, which continued working despite falling face-down (until thirty hours later, when it suddenly remembered some wetness deep within). While smugly wiping moisture off the outer surfaces, gloating that my phone was so dumb that it could still work after such a dip, some Brit and brought its cubs to play the 'Hop around on the fountain without breaking the recommendation' game.

Adlai: Where are you from?
Brit: London
Adlai: Ahh. I'm from... wait, let's see if you remember your heraldry.
Brit: Wales?
Adlai: No...
[ADLAI inverts sweatshirt,
       which had doubled as red flag
       to indicate human presence in the field;
 enter WHITE LION RAMPANT upon a RED FIELD]
Adlai: Exeter!
Brit: ...
Adlai: ~New~ England
Brit: Ahh. Stay there!

Seven hours previous, I'd seen the New Sun rise. Seven hours later, I'd see the Old Sun set. That was a good day.

And Here We Test Our Powers of Remembrance
leashed un 2018-03-31 22:18:37

Content Warning: This post may contain renovated memories. It is an attempt to collect things said during my military service which I consider today, several years wiser, as the greatest compliments received, although they may not have been intended as such by the speakers; others may simply be moments which I do not wish to forget.

+ Good work.
+ Adlai, go there.
+ "... and then fire the missiles!"
+ Do you know who I am? I am your captain.
+ Adlai, your problem is that you are a technocrat.
+ Yes, we can stay friends... what a stupid question!
+ Of all of us, the last I expected to become thus is you.
+ I envy the woman who wins your heart,
    because you are a wager of peace.
+ Of all the sergeants in our company,
     you are the only one after whom
         I'd charge under fire.

It's been years since I met some of those who spoke those words. Some of them weren't in good shape back then, and some of them are in worse shape today, and that's quite a flexible word being used to its full range of meanings. I hope they're in better shape than I'd expect. I have forgotten the full name of the third speaker, and that makes me sad.

This Mortal Solicitor
leashed un 2018-03-31 17:38:23

Trigger Warning: This post may have been produced in a facility that also processes lucidly-written prose.

Though some might consider this rebellious streak merely some idiotic "looking for trouble", I actually enjoy getting asked by complete strangers what I did during my military service: this being nearly 36 months of forced Israeli defense. I've parroted much nonsense in answer to such questions, always avoiding barefaced lies and never quite cutting to the matter's heart, but it's about time I set down the definitive story, if only for my own sanity.

Artillery battalions are funny beasts. They consist of dozens, if not hundreds or thousands - let's settle for "myriads" - of autonomous agents, each with its own specific task; and a well-designed battallion can function even with its head cut off and impaled, dripping blood, sweat, and bile, at the entry gate, for every man to witness. The agents can run about like headless chickens, hardly hearing each other's plea, as long as the most important guidelines are followed. The responsibility of those commissioned "Officer"'s to make sure that nobody gets hurt. My job was to lobby for the continued execution of enemies. It's that simple.

Reflexive Interferometry
leashed un 2018-03-30 08:28:23

Trigger Warning: This post may have been produced in a facility that also processes lucidly-written prose.

BACKGROUND

SET: My current life doesn't quite consist of "unending boredom punctuated by brief moments of sheer terror", but I'll reluctantly admit to being most afraid of succumbing to my own destructive boredom, yet also most loathe to harm my only asset - quite a powerful pact! Self-expression through words has tended to only agitate those who try understanding them, so recently I've combated boredom through reading, cycling, and the avoidance of liberal language with those who profess intent to analyze, heal, or otherwise "help" me beyond the essentials: camaraderie, companionship, and the unfettered exchange of information.

SETTING: On the day of this experience I seasoned my breakfast cooking with 0.8g vapovers, then cycled (or drug the steed) for several hours across rough terrain and rocky shoals to visit two friends whom, for lack of better pseudonyms, I will call Shura and Alice; the former I have known for several years, since our military service; I've only met Alice, who now lives with Shura, a few times before; but military conditioning runs deep, so I trust Shura's judgement in more regards than just partnership and supply.

ANANDOMIMETICS: I vape cannabis at low doses on a roughly daily basis, a habit variously termed "titration", "infusion", or "addiction", depending on the speaker's set. I cook with the leftovers - an imprecise science, but it brings back the magic of cannabis as adventure, a magic which frequent abusers erode. I do not consider my use of such natural medicine improper, yet I am aware that it places me without Law.

SEROTONERGICS: Lacking precise dosage data or other statistics, I brag with reticence, but I have developed quite a tolerance. My conscious mind enjoys a broad variety of receptor agonization, but the subconscious evidently doesn't enjoy entertaining that luxury and has gotten infuriatingly efficient at leaving me at or below a Shulgin-scale "Plus Two". This was my first time smoking changa (or any other form of DMT).

FOREGROUND

I arrived at Shura's door roughly six hours after breakfast. When greeting me, Alice lamented that she always met me in a similar physical state: awash in mud, sweat, and the good vibes that hours of highcycling catalyze. This comment brought to mind James Herriot's encounters with his fellow veterinarian's wife, Zoe, whom he'd never met sober. Although I've so long despaired of finding such an elusive mindset as to consider sobriety merely a useful social fiction, I still felt keenly what James Herriot described: the embarrasment of a somewhat insecure man finding himself disheveled to the point of clownhood in the presence of a charming woman, who also happens to be a good friend's partner. Before this reflection made more than the most fleeting impression, Shura and Alice herded me about with encouragements to feel at home and join them for pancakes.

While discussing with Shura how morals shift during and since service, Alice asks for clarification about one point I'd made using obscure language, and Shura explains with one word, "Bandit", to convey the immortality of action limited only by fear of capture. Though I appreciated the efficiency of information transfer between Shura and Alice, mediated by the connotations around that one word, amplified by the pronounced accent, I felt a twinge of excitement: for me, the word evokes Barnoch, Vodalus, Severian, and the cardinality of ethical continua. The philosophical discussion was cut short by relocation to the living room once we finished our meal, where we returned to psychedelia - that is, subconscious manifestation of the conscious, and vice versa; for lack of a better slang, "Mindbending".

After several reminiscences and comparisons of unshared experiences, Shura seemed to surprise Alice by offering me to try DMT for the first time, in the form of smoked changa. I gladly accepted his invitation, and he prepared me a mattress and pillow just indoors from a balcony: at my disposal were generous airflow, roughly pi steradians' view of the nighttime city at my right and the art-adorned living room to my left, and my two hosts making last preparations such as turning off the TV, adjusting music, and fetching that snuff that makes us dream.

Shura lit a stub of incense representing the Home archetype, and marked my "third eye" with the charred end after it finished smouldering. Next, he offered me plant ash snuff containing nicotine as nootropic, or at the very least, mental laxative. A pair of assisted insufflations, one per nostril, sufficed to send me powerwalking to the bathroom to practice the eyewash drill, but I returned after a couple of minutes to blow my nose and excuse myself for having not snorted anything in years. Shura suggested I smoke the hit while sitting, and lie down if needed; I propped my back against the pillow, accepted the pipe and lighter, and took in the hit which seemed to my eyes to be quite small, but Shura insisted was an appropriate dose for a first time.

I was able to return the pipe before noticing any effects; but by the moment the lighter linked our hands, I was struck by a wave of situational analysis, closely followed by visual effects. Before my attention turned to the visuals, I found myself analyzing the Promethean symbolism as my fovea refocused from the dime-a-dozen plastic lighter to the human guide sitting cross-legged by my mattress, his expression as inscrutable as the firsthand view of secondhand smoke.

Least interesting of all the visual effects were the baroque decorations leaking from an oblong lattice; predecessors have far surpassed my ability to describe polychrome fractalizations using mere language, and readers unable to visualize these or experience for themselves may still observe any of the countless offerings of complex analysis carried to its unending whorls (such as the sets of Mandelbrot and Julia). Additionally, I fear that my training and expertise with absurd doses of phenethylamines and tryptamines both natural and synthetic has desensetized me to such beauty. Far more interesting to me - and I'd been piecing together this decision during the minutes leading up to inhalation - would be searching for the neurological or optical elements of the entity contact phenomenon.

ANALYSIS

The visual field consists of both a broad two-dimensional display of the surroundings, and the mind's interpretation of them. By leaving my eyes neither solely closed nor open, but alternating at several low fractions of Hertz, I observed the interplay between how the latter broke free of the external world's impositions upon the former, which I shall now endeavor to describe as best I may, given the impaired lenses through which recall I must.

Concurrent with the effects' plateauing arose a memory of an old friend's account of her first DMT experience: though her exact words have faded, they left an impression of disdain; that she had experienced no effects beyond the visual. While I did not notice alterations to my thought process beyond those of a large bong hit, closing my eyes unleashed visual distortions of a hitherto unseen nature: each of several times, the neural leftovers of Shura and Alice rose from their seated poses to approach eachother and unite.

Reflexively yet without apprehension, I wondered whether I was about to watch them fuck; yet no amount of reading - Hegel, Huxley, or others - can prepare for, nor quite capture, the experience of witnessing Adam and Eve yield Shiva, within the bony personal cell of skull island. The entire process took minutes, if not mere seconds; while I lost count of both blinks and breaths, there was no subjective distortion of Time.

Speechless, I opened my eyes for a final time; that is to say, I relinquished conscious control of my blinking reflex, and grinned at Shura like a village idiot greeting his mayor. Meeting my eyes and hearing my silence, Shura raised a fist, which I met with mine. I do not recall our precise words, and I suspect they were preceded by laughter, but it was clear that the "Businessman's Lunch Trip" was over.

Sinners, Dinners, and Winners
leashed un 2018-03-24 01:13:23

Trigger Warning: This post may have been produced in a facility that also processes lucidly-written prose.

Disinformation hampers natural philosophy, naturally branding disinformants sinners; yet once we seekers have carved apart idea-space, each to chase a distinct stink in a distant subset, we may find the first-person plural quite the falsest of friends: however good-faith some noisehole's truth-hunt may be, if it's noise that spills from the hole, then some subbrand of garbage must apply. I'd coarsely split between aimless noise (eg: body heat, sunshine, certain pulsars) and aimed (eg: scorns, advertisements, other pulsars), but then I'd run afoul of useful yet unaimed noise, such as the rusty rumble of an approaching bike or the apian hum of our cowardly overlords; all serve a coordinating function in the sufficiently smart swarm. Since the landscape has already defied monochromatic linearization, such a harsh brand as "sinner" is near-useless for describing an agent that aments SNR; a full taxonomy of noise and its duction is left as an exercise for the sufficiently bored taxonomist.

Forgetfulness hampers freedom production, naturally branding amnesia disinformation; yet further cuts by the conceptual Ouroboros (may our Autarch's infinitesimal life and eternal death measure His mortuary's working hours as smoothly as the Continuum Itself) hit the nerve: garbage must be collected, and the least dispensable municipal service is the applied taxonomy of waste. If any public service must be handed off to the mishandling of petty bureaucrats, let it be the promise of eternal remembrance at absurd caloric absence, or the messy minding of DNRs; a full interferometry of pseudoscience and legallego is left as an exercise for the sufficiently calibrated turfometer.

 SENSE  IS SCARCE
ARBEIT MACHT HEISZ
LOSING   IS    FUN
Apparate Ipsoludo!
leashed un 2018-03-09 07:54:32

So you wanna learn this game, even though your heart is heavy, sled-dogs lame, and your tongue too dumb to spell my name? The rules are fewer still than the schools that teach them, and the enemies myrious; should you find one of the few guiding texts, whether ones for closest enemies or spun for freeest fliers, how are you to even navigate? As the Library's shelves spill out of its fabulous fictions into the physical continuum of your mind, so the references cross fields, gulfs, and streams, ultimately returning you to the simple embarrasment of ignorance.

Rest easy, child: ignorance is not a sin.

What Sheep-Dog say to Sea-Rammers
leashed un 2018-03-05 07:07:17
    When  in doubt, just leap  about, and eat
the flow'rs and grass beneath our feet; don't
forget the mushroom's hue, which blossoms up
from sand-tank-poo;     and see those spiky
puffer-fish? Them porpoi can't refuse that
dish, no matter what their clickers say.
Heed not the words of proper gander apes,
who tell us neurons bat for the same team;
they drank the kool-aid only once per life,
and from my ship will someday walk the beam.
My Dinner with Vodalus
leashed un 2018-02-26 04:27:25

Vodalus caught my attention shortly after forsaking the cemetery wall scaling quest due to energy minimization locating the unlocked gate, ajar in the windless fog; while not quite jet, fur so black doesn't easily blend with trash and pavement. No need for mewling at such hours, either: all sentient life worth its weight in traction notices itself at such times. Feline slinks, feeble leaps, and a single gentle bite at the meat of my petting hand trigger her laughing whisper, imagined clear as she reads to herself the simplest rejection textable before touching the glass to fire it off: "I recommend cats"

Vodalus remained silent - for all I know, muted in the ongoing struggle against would-be Autarch agents (may His tears rain joy upon our deserts!) - yet the Master of Apprentices at the Library of Rambleon couldn't resist whipping out the best prop, an inertia-fed [BRAND NAME REDACTED], and whispering back: "Gavar'it-pa dee TSEIT?"

Uber die Grundlagen Kegelsubungens
leashed un 2018-01-24 09:37:25

Passing through the inhospitable wasteland between the cactic sanctuary and the muddy slope colloquiallized by students as "Vietnam" on my way from the academic accelerator to Master Ultan's nearest dungeon, yet again reared that heady temptation - to forcibly install an assymettric training wheel upon a couple's calm conversation. Biting like a good dog, I but in: "As you must have heard them quote by now, 'there are two types of people in this world: those who like to hear their voice upon your ears, and those who like parchment inking friction'.".

Without missing a beat, she knocked me out of the ballpark and into the land of insufficiently studied prewar bullshit: "so THAT's why the world is splitting!"


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